


Coda

by jacaranda_tree



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3276893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacaranda_tree/pseuds/jacaranda_tree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 4.03. Trixie notices Patsy looking glum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coda

Trixie hummed as she mixed two cocktails for herself and Patsy. It had been a trying week for all of them, and goodness knows they had earned a good drink, whatever that old witch Crane said. At least the Rose Queen ceremony had succeeded with only a slight hiccough, and that was hardly her fault. No, she had done very well to get through this week, and now it was time to celebrate.

Only Patsy was looking _very_ glum.

Trixie sighed and set their drinks down on the bedside table, then sat on her bed facing Patsy.

“Go on, this’ll cheer you up. I’ve made it just the way you like it.”

Patsy startled out of her reverie. Clearly she had no clue how miserable she was looking.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, and took a quick sip before setting the glass back down and staring into space again. Perhaps Trixie would have to be more direct.

“Whatever is the matter with you? You look positively stormy.”

Patsy picked her drink up again and went to take a sip, then seemed to decide against it, instead choosing to stare into the cup as if it held all the answers to her troubles. “Well, I just…” She sighed heavily, and rather pathetically too, if Trixie had anything to say about it.

“Oh, tell me now Patsy. You’re beginning to worry me.” She really was; Patsy hadn’t been quite this closed off since the whole business with the tropical parasite and her entire family dying in a prison camp. Trixie really didn’t want to think there was anything else quite so harrowing in her friend’s life.

“I was only thinking of how Mr and Mrs Amos are getting on. I feel ever so sorry for the two of them. It’s a terrible situation all around.” Patsy threw a quick smile Trixie’s way, but she wasn’t convinced. That couldn’t be all that was troubling her.

“We do see some awful things in this line of work. But the thing is, we have move past them, so we can be strong enough to face the next obstacle that comes our way.”

Patsy nodded slowly. “Yes, I agree with you, you know. Only some things… Some things stay with you more than others, don’t you find?” 

Trixie thought of those neglected children, sent to Australia. “Mm. I suppose.”

“I… I just keep thinking, poor Mr Amos nearly lost everything. His whole life, his work, his family, everything he’d built up… It was almost destroyed. I can’t imagine being face with that.” Patsy seemed to be on the verge of tears. Trixie was growing alarmed. She reached over and put her hand on Patsy’s shoulder.

“But Patsy, you don’t need to be afraid of anything like that… I know you lost your family once, but you should know I think of you much like a sister. You’re very dear to all of us at Nonnatus House. You aren’t at risk of losing anything.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, for Patsy burst into tears immediately. 

“Oh dear,” Trixie said, and moved over to Patsy’s bed and put an arm around her shoulder. “Oh Patsy, what’s wrong?”

Patsy sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Don’t you see I _am_ at risk? If Mr Amos could lose everything, then so could I!”

“Patsy I don’t understand—“

“Don’t be obtuse, Trixie. You know what I mean. We’re the same, Mr Amos and I.”

Trixie drew back her arm. “I see. You’re—“

“A deviant, yes,” Patsy said bitterly. “You can go back to your own bed, if you like. I understand.”

Trixie did so, slowly. She couldn’t deny that it made her somewhat uncomfortable, to suddenly find out the woman she shared a room with was… _that_ way.

She sat quietly for a moment, completely at a loss. The silence filled the entire room.

“Well… I don’t know what to say,” she said at last. Patsy refused to meet her eyes. “I didn’t expect that.”

Patsy sniffed again and said, staring at the still half-full glass she held in her hands, “Do you hate me?”

“Oh, Patsy, never. You’re one of my dearest friends. I’m just surprised.” That earnt a small smile from Patsy, which was something. Trixie thought carefully about the most tactful way to ask her next question. “Is this… Have you always been like this?” 

“Do you mean have I never felt anything for a man? Not really, no. I went on a few dates when I was younger, but I was only ever pretending. I might have ended up married to one of them, I suppose. Married and miserable.” She sighed and wiped a tear from her eye. “I wanted to be in love, no matter the cost.” She smiled sadly at Trixie, still not quite looking her in the eye. That worried Trixie a little. She couldn’t mean… _her_? _No, Trixie, don’t be silly,_ she thought, _not everyone is in love with you_. Still…

“Have you found anyone, ever? A woman?”

Patsy brightened somewhat; clearly a yes. “I… Actually, you know her.”

“Oh?”

“My friend Delia. We’ve been… close, for quite some time now.”

The Welsh girl? Trixie _had_ thought they had become good friends suspiciously quickly. She seemed nice, though.

“Are you happy with her?”

“I am, Trixie. I’m so very happy. For a long time, I had no idea what love could be like. Then suddenly, it all made sense.”

“Then I’m glad for you, Patsy. And I hope you know, if anyone ever maligns you, or you end up in a situation like Mr Amos, I would never abandon you. You’re my dearest friend.”

Patsy began to cry again, but she was smiling now. “Thank you, Trixie. Thank you so much. And I’m sorry. Both sorry for not telling you earlier, and sorry for telling you know. I’ve brought you in on my dark secret.”

“Don’t say that. I’m quite good with secrets, you know.” They smiled at each other, and Trixie reached out for her forgotten cocktail on the bedside table. “Now then, let’s drink. To friendship!”


End file.
